The Train

All aboard please, the train is about to depart. Please keep all limbs, heads and necks inside the train whenever possible. Do not get too attached to the your luggage or your sense of personal space. Bring your game face but don't forget to smile. Decide quickly between safety and comfort, for you will not get both. If it all gets too much, claim loudly that you need to vomit and make your way towards the door.

Indian Rail is the world's largest employer with over one million staff members. After a couple of journeys, even in the relatively uncrowded state of Kerala, that statistic does not seem surprising. No part of your anatomy will be spared the pushing, nor the sensation of transforming from a human being to a sardine.

But somehow it works. Once the train has got going it is the sudden calm that you notice first; strangers chat quietly and amicably, or silently absorb the journey. Those with the best views - hanging on for dear life by the doors - enjoy the gorgeous green Keralan countryside. Those not used to trains stand out not by the colour of their skin or their accents, but primarily by their attire - everyone on the train is smartly dressed - and secondly the volume of their conversation. Only upon pulling into a station does chaos return.

I don't think a trip to India is quite complete without experiencing the trains. Like India itself, the trains are something to embrace rather than shirk, and probably not for the faint-hearted. Just forget everything you think you know about how many people you can fit into something resembling a moving prison.

(Varkala was lovely, by the way.)

Matt xox

The Train